Making excuses used to be my specialty! I love the acronym FOG – Fear Obligation and Guilt. It was coined by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier in the book Emotional Blackmail. It is a perfect descriptor of what kept me making excuses and how I was so well controlled on so many levels.
When you think about the hundreds of things we as victims were convinced to be afraid of, felt obligated to, or felt guilty for it is just a wonder we were ever able to cut through the FOG and actually Survive at all! The word Paralyzing actually is an excellent descriptor for the FOG. It is like an invisible gas that just emotionally stopped me in my tracks every day of my 12 years. The result was denial, lies, and yes, bouts of arrogance. So, what changed? Why do we go from victim to survivor? How to we break the hold of the FOG? The antidote is different for each survivor. I am thankful for the person who finally administered mine. ~ Lisa~