People always tell you to forget the past. Forget the pain. Move on and move up. Move away form your trauma. All of that is advice that I can get behind to a certain extent. I am not saying we need to dwell on the past and continue to bring it up and wallow in the worries of yesteryear. I am certainly thrilled to be free from the horrible ripped up existence I called a life. However, I also can and will never forget. The very thought of forgetting actually terrifies me.
Forgetting may mean desensitizing myself to a level of acceptance of the pain and control my family endured. Forgetting may mean allowing others in the future to creep in and commit similar crimes without my notice. Forgetting may mean failing to acknowledge the signs and symptoms of a friend who is struggling to endure a violent or otherwise abusive situation and never coming to her aid. Forgetting may mean comforting the abuser and vilifying the abused because I have forgotten what it is like to watch the liar lie.
I absolutely believe in forgiveness. I have practiced forgiveness. I have released my abusers from their bonds of duty to me. I continue to remember out of duty to those who were never given the chance to forgive; out of duty to those whose stories ended on the floor with a baby standing over them crying as the abusive parent fled the scene. I feel every punch because if I do not, you may never have the opportunity to know the difference! THAT is something I could NEVER FORGET! ~ Lisa ~
