They just go on and on…. But, I understand them and that is the key to remaining stable. If you have never been a victim and are not surviving on a daily basis with the past remembrance of abuse, then some of the things I say may sound odd. But, for those who have lived my life or worse, you know. Oh these dreams.
How nice it would be to fall asleep at night and know that your dreams would most likely not be made up of the next best selling ‘Gone Girl’ plot. Seriously! If I wrote down some of the garbage that happens to me while I slumber, I could make millions off of the sick world of ‘let’s watch people get tortured and killed’. I recently had a situation where I was teaching a class about DV and I guess an abuser attended. This person did so many things to discredit me and was venomous in the attack. So, of course, like a good little survivor, I went back and dreamed for nights about my past abuse. Finally, my dreams stopped after a past abuser with a muddled face tried to drown me in a shallow tub of water. Yup! My greatest fear. Drowning! That isn’t all that happened in the nightmare. But, that is all I am going to tell you about. During the dream, my inner-self kept telling my dream self not to worry because “He doesn’t drown you.” Very odd. Almost like this was a thing that actually happened and I was reliving it in this nightmare with the internal knowledge that I live at the end of the trauma. Was this one of my repressed memories coming out? I woke up dizzy and shaken. I had a long day of travel ahead of me. I managed. We all manage. Oh these dreams….. they do go on when I close my eyes. If you are one who struggles with nightmares and recurring dreams, just remember – THEY CAN’T HURT YOU ANYMORE!!!! <3 ~ Lisa ~